The Benefits of #SOULSTUDY with Shelah Marie
Recently, I had the opportunity to go on a journey. Rather a quest. I joined a meditation collective. Why you might ask? Because I needed help. As usual my brother gave me crap about it! Asking why would I pay for this ridiculous service. But I still considered his words. I mean when you need help in math you get a tutor, when you need help losing weight you get a trainer. So why was it so ridiculous that I wanted help meditating and I was willing to pay for it.
Honestly, I always considered meditating to be a big waste of time. I always felt like I was sitting around on my yellow yoga mat, in the dark, listening to acid tripping music, and not doing anything. I felt like I could be accomplishing way more, if I just got up and handled my business.
I could never quiet my mind long enough to reach whatever higher chi of life people kept telling me about.
At the beginning of August, I decided I wanted to sharpen this skill. I decided that as a person who had dedicated so much of my young life to formal education (6 years undergrad and masters) (5 years teaching in the classroom), I wanted to dedicate more time to studying myself, and growing in truth.
I started following @TheShelahMarie on Instagram after I saw one of her videos on another page. It was a video about self love and I felt like she was talking to me. Like when you go to a place of worship and you feel like the sermon is about you, so you look around and double check that the pastor didn’t say your name directly. After following her on IG for a while, I realized she was going to offer a #soulstudyseries for the month of August, where she would be teaching meditation. Soooo I was like what!!! Meditation! Taught by this young, fly, black woman! Sign me up! I’m here for it! I care for it.
I rearranged my duckets. I found the coinage and invested in myself! Four weeks, with four different types of mediations. (Can I say that I didn’t even know their were diff types of meditation). Each week we wrote about the experience. Which I thought was really cool. I think too often we underestimate the power of writing something down, and having the ability to go back and look at it from a standpoint of growth.
The most powerful and transforming moment during the month for me was the forgiveness meditation. At first, I didn’t really appreciate it until, I seriously considered asking forgiveness from a person I couldn’t call on the phone. My father! My father passed away last year. I took the opportunity during the meditation to apologize to my dad for everything. For being rude, reckless, different, difficult, a daughter who wasn’t always the best. I felt my eyes move rapidly behind my shut lids. Lashes soaked as the tears silently ran down my cheeks. My breathing became deeper but lighter. I, myself, felt lighter in spirit and soul. As I felt the masculine energy of my father, a calming peace came over me saying “don’t cry” “it’s ok”, repeatedly. When I came out of that meditation I felt overwhelming peace. Which may seem like an oxymoron, but it’s the only way I can describe it. Now, normally when I am in deep thought about my father I feel overwhelming sorrow, that rushes over me like a tsunami wave. This time it was different. It was beautiful and freeing. It was the first time I ever meditated and felt like I had actually accomplished something. And that feat however small it may seem was enough for me to want to continue the journey, the act of meditation, and soul discovery.
Shelah Marie is coming out with even more ways for us to heal ourselves with her #soustudywithshelah which will include lots of motivational and inspirational ways for people to be active agents in our own mental health. I for one am excited.